this is the perfect place to get jumped

Month: December, 2015

reflections of a secular fan

dbz’s influence on my 13 y/o self is unrivaled, as i spent more class time drawing pictures of frieza than taking notes. the memories from this time are exhumed by discovering the relics of my forgotten habits: the labelled collection of vhs’ that i taped daily from cartoon network is one of them. without even watching an episode of dbz my present self is temporarily transported to a chapter of my life that has been closed for many years, and because i no longer think about dbz on a daily basis the show is married to a blissful time in my childhood. the intensity of this overwhelming affection would be greatly decreased if this ritual was performed more than once every decade, because like drinking, nostalgia is dangerous in excess.

my taste and my habits have grown with me. nostalgia for the circumstances of viewing (on dvd) is less prevalent for my memories of the sopranos’ because i still enjoy the show and feel more of a fondness for remembering forgotten characters and the story lines. any new iteration of either dbz or the sopranos’ would be naturally compared to their previous masterpieces, and pitted against a formidable enemy: my personal nostalgia. (it would not be a fair fight.)

star wars fans are far less reasonable. a new hope was immediately unique for starting in the middle of its saga, (like matthew barney’s cremaster 4 and kafka’s the metamorphosis) and it became a religious experience by breaking ground with its uncanny creations and ancient storytelling techniques. furthermore, the films that followed in its trilogy either improved it or matched it, which lead to its iconic stature across american pop culture. star wars has thus been referenced so often that the movies are seen second hand. learning that someone hasn’t seen the films in childhood is almost akin to the reaction of them admitting their virginity at 30. for hardcore fans a new hope is nostalgic for the passed circumstances of its viewing (enthralled either as a child or as an young adult multiple times in theaters) as well as the density of great moments in the films themselves. any material reminder of the movie can spark intense emotion, which is why new star wars toys were still being sold in the sixteen year gap between films.

but the force awakens can never be a new hope because the entire star wars galaxy has been established and solved. instead of  using this clean slate to create new mysteries, the filmmakers chose to satisfy fans with recycled tropes from a new hope and have created an average film. fans that are looking for a religious experience are missing the point, and doing damage to their beloved franchise by holding sequels to the standards of the originals. the original trilogy can never be recreated, and every attempt will fall short.

fans deemed the now infamous prequels horrible by the standards of the originals because they were average by standards of modern blockbusters. sci fi fans are the most opinionated, inquisitive and thoughtful fans by nature, and take canon very seriously. their disappointment in the risk taking creator resulted in a huge backlash, which forced the creator to make changes in a desperate appeal to save his fan base. (they saw all of the films anyway.) there wouldn’t have been such backlash if these fans understood that the originality of star wars can never be matched. but if they knew this, they would lack a trait inherent to all sci fi fans: faith.

for a secular fan there is plenty to enjoy about the force awakens, (my favorite scene was when the aliens made weird sounds) but there isn’t any attempt to create something new. fans think they are satisfied, and non fans know they are indifferent. history will not forget the amazing box office numbers, but it will forget the characters, the plot, the music etc.

my interest in the force awakens was a result of an unrelated fan theory that posits jar jar binks was actually a sith master. (jar jar binks was so hated by fans that he practically disappeared for the rest of the prequel trilogy, and any arc that george lucas had in mind was scrapped for sake of the fan’s ill conceived preservation of nostalgia.) this theory is more compelling than anything in the force awakens, and the fans are to blame for its never being realized. fans are enthusiasts, not creators. they do not have any authority to harass a creator into submission, but their complaints are heard by a much higher power…

disney will appeal to star wars fans with manufactured nostalgia and stale storytelling because it knows that fans will overlook mediocrity to keep an impossible ideal satisfied. this is an easy way to satisfy the movie’s free champions and make an acceptable movie. they will think they have finally won until they watch a new hope like i did and realize that they lost–again.

disney is protecting its investment, and to their credit, it is easier to repackage an old story with flashier effects than it is to be risky and create something new. (angry fans can mean the destruction of the empire.) as much as i want to have faith in rian johnson’s (brick, looper, breaking bad) follow up, disney will ultimately get in the way. rian johnson has succeeded in the past, but as this is not his creation, these are not his calls to make.

until then i’m expecting rey to make an appearance in a bikini and to be rylo ken’s cousin.

rey bikini

reformed moron

the challenge to consistently create new work was the leading reason for plermpt’s creation, and over the past few years this commitment has proven beneficial.

in the early days, making consistent updates meant finding material to whine about. i wanted to be independent all my life, especially if that meant being poor, and when i overcame my struggles and was granted the privilege of poverty i celebrated with degeneracy. when i exceeded my expectations inklings of improvement to my staid and directionless lifestyle surfaced. in a post from july 2013 i blogged a list of stuff i wanted, and pondered drug dealing as a means to obtain it. it was the wrong method, but i was on the right track.

months later, after some other hard learned lessons, i wrote two consecutive posts that touched on my ignorance of politics and economics, respectively. the first post detailed my desire to cum while staring at an image of a youthful joseph stalin, where i concluded that, “… The Great Purge eliminated Stalin’s wrinkles, yet even dictators can die of old age….What really makes me cum? Whenever my assumptions are eviscerated by a new truth.


ok, so stalin was hot. so what? he still had wrinkles when he died of old age, and simply being young and hot doesn’t make his murder and imprisonment of innocent civilians forgivable when he is old and wrinkled. because i never imagined stalin as anything more than a historical character, finding this photo of him as a young man forced the realization that stalin had a history before he was a dictator. this image humanized him, and though i joked about ejaculating, it’s clear that it stirred my emotions. (i’m now mature enough to google images of hitler without a moustache.) this sentiment would only have been labelled as ‘harmless curiosity’ as opposed to the first stages of an embryonic extremist if my hypocrisy had not escalated in the post that followed.

when an oxfam study found, among other things, that the bottom half of the world’s population owns the same amount as the 85 richest people in the world, business mogul and shark tank host kevin o’ leary commented on the finding by saying “It gets everybody motivation to look up to the 1% and say ‘i want to be like them.” my vehemence for the man and his statement, guided by a session of TYT, inspired me to use my blog to vent my own grievances. back then, my utter lack of understanding economics (true of the majority of progressives and liberals that make up TYT audience) took the form of a rant against people telling me how to live. my post ended with, “I hate this guy for believing we are all like him. Even on his own show this fuckface should have kept his insulting, unpopular and completely untrue comments in his pocket because in the revolution he will publicly lose his throat.

although i’ve never seriously advocated for the harm of anyone, i still made an authoritarian statement because youthful emotion clouds reasonable judgement. a dictator like stalin rises to power by 1) being hot 2) appealing to the emotion of useful idiots and 3) killing those useful idiots after achieving the power. i used my heart to condemn kevin o’ leary, at the time believing that having wealth meant keeping it from those with less wealth, when only months earlier i was using my brain (somewhat) to try and improve my living standards in the same economic system that gave kevin o’ leary an equal opportunity to become stinking rich. liberal media outlets and my occupy brainwashed peers damned capitalism and the ‘evil greed’ of the right, to the point where i thought it ordinary to wish death on those that found success by working hard. emotion can be harnessed to dangerously alter perception by twisting facts into stories of good and evil.

i’m taking a new role by finally retracting my hypocrisy and owning up to what i said. two years is a fair amount of time to reexamine old beliefs because it’s not so long that i cannot remember what i was doing or where i was, and it’s not so short that i can’t observe a detect a positive change in myself.

as 2016 approaches and i read over the old posts that prove my naive and hypocritical worldview, i recall a more intimate reason for beginning this blog: to track my progress as an individual. (another benefit of blogging is having the platform to respond to my past self.) because i never drank the kool-aid, these are minor oversights in my otherwise grounded identity. nonetheless these knee jerk opinions are hardly petty; they still demonstrate routine bad thinking that i reversed with research and life experience.

see you in two years 😉