dear mr. monkenthaller,
i’m sorry i didn’t call you fat when i had the chance.
you deserve to know the truth: you have gained weight. i can tell. i haven’t known you for very long, but i can still identify excess body fat when i see it on a formally fit person. wearing baggy sweaters does no service either; it might work during the winter, but you won’t be able to hide when tank top season rolls around.
i hypothetically suggested your weight gain was due to working on set when you admitted to feeling fat. since we’ve both worked on set i assumed that we shared a consensus: snacking and eating catered lunches everyday makes all crew members fatter versions of themselves. but not only did you disagree, you took my observation as a pointed criticism, and reacted irritably and defensively. and instead of dishing the tough love that you needed, i retreated by finding a way to circumvent this tense moment, relaying my personal weight gain plight of this past summer:
my body’s typical definition was obscured by unwelcome curves due to the endless food i enjoyed on set. i didn’t like what was happening, but instead of taking action to restore my body i created habits to help me avoid it. i showered in the dark. i grew a goatee to hide my double chin. i took topless selfies from flattering angles that didn’t reveal how bad my tits had become. whenever i went to the nude beach i thought, ‘i’m not as fat as that guy.’ i would have become ‘that guy’ in just a few months if i didn’t seek the strength to admit my carelessness to myself.
i owed you a confirmation when you admitted to me that you ‘felt fat’ because you are fat. and because of cowardice i couldn’t confirm, and now you have dismissed your internal claims and will continue your habits. mr. monkenthaller, it is always about how you feel. expressing doubts to the maintenance of your physique is a signal that change is imminent. only when you settle on your unsightly obesity will you become ‘that guy.’
my intentions are not to humiliate, so don’t hate me if you read this. i am simply rectifying my disservice to you by making this public. proceed with your life with the knowledge that those around you can see the changes in your body. i know you have the ethic to overcome this reversible weight gain; you aren’t that fat…yet. you don’t have to become ‘that guy,’ and if you do, don’t say i didn’t warn you.