this is the perfect place to get jumped

Month: January, 2014

The Worst

According to that recent study by Oxfam, the bottom half of the world’s population owns the same amount as the 85 richest people in the world. This stat is not astonishing, but this fucking idiot’s reaction is:

Despite its numerous contradictions and the exhausted “We Are The 99%” maxim, the most important thing to remember about OWS is its greatness in unveiling the disparity of wealth in the US on a massive scale, thus making it a household issue. As a result this stat is no longer a surprise, but this dipshit made me feel like there never was an OWS. Every sentence formed from his lips made wince with confusion. (I realize this shithead is venture capitalist Kevin O’ Leary, a judge or a host of a show called Shark Tank, and it’s possible that he is acting on request by the producers to voice a repulsive opinion because his remarks are suspiciously monstrous, but for the sake of my opinion I will not give him the benefit of the doubt.)

“It gets everybody motivation to look up to the 1% and say ‘i want to be like them.'”

This asshole does not speak for me. I do not want to be like him. This stat does not motivate me to become the 1%. Wealth is not everything and it is not synonymous with success and every 99 percenter knows this because its true and makes me feel better. Only the most vapid, materialistic people would be inspired by this shithead’s exultation of ‘fantastic news.’ 99% of people can’t be the 1%, therefore “everybody” can’t be motivated by money alone. People can be motivated by power, sex, or glory for instance.

“…celebratory stat. I’m wonderful to see it happen.”

This dickhead is also a phony; He’s not celebrating for the collective “motivation” of the 99%, he’s celebrating because it’s proof that wealth will never be evenly distributed.

“If you work hard you might be stinking rich someday.”

It’s cool that you like making money dude. I’m glad that you found something you’re so good at that you got noticed and hired for a tv show where you’re allowed to spout your opinion to the very small group of people that care about it. I would very much like to have a tv show too, so I can serve the very small group of people that might care about what I have to say. And if I work hard and start recording my podcast maybe I’ll get a talk show too. But I wouldn’t do it just to be “stinking rich”. You are wrong, not everyone is like you. I don’t want to wear a suit everyday. Besides, no matter how hard I work I still wouldn’t budge an inch in finance. If I work hard I can someday dismantle this unfair system. Or, I can work hard for something that I care for personally and pretend like the 1% don’t exist because they are already physically and mentally removed from my reality that it wouldn’t take much effort to ignore them and allow them to drift their invisible fingers across the political infrastructure of this country like the soft stroke of lovers. After all, they’ve been doing it for thousands of years.

I hate this guy for believing we are all like him. Even on his own show this fuckface should have kept his insulting, unpopular and completely untrue comments in his pocket because in the revolution he will publicly lose his throat. He probably doesn’t even buy art with his money. It’s important to work hard for what you believe, but it’s also good to be grounded and empty your cat’s litter box once in a while.

I Want to Cum

whenever I look at this photo of Taylor Swift sitting:


or this dreamy photo of 23 y/o Joseph Stalin:


A photo doesn’t need to be erotic to make me want to cum. This Taylor Swift photo isn’t erotic; her mouth isn’t full, she’s not licking anything, and she’s not spooning or spreading or arching or bending or throbbing; her legs are crossed and she is fully clothed. Red is the whore’s color, which may subconsciously make me think about cumming, but wanting to cum is a conscious effort. Taylor is classy, in a post-brunch way: dainty hands in a pose where a cigarette is appropriate, yet strangely absent. These unlikely details make me want to cum. That natural plump and pout of Taylor’s lips are likely the cause of the bulk of my arousal, alongside her too cute bunny teeth. The soft, late afternoon light of early summer accentuates her frail neck and collar bones, which can be broken by the flimsy grip of my pointer finger and thumb. Any ocular seduction is shrouded behind dark glass; not typical of a Taylor Swift photo. There are thousands of pictures of the scrawny Taylor Swift sitting. However, this picture doesn’t make me want to fuck Taylor Swift, it makes me want to cum. I believe that is where love originates….cum is evident of the physicality of love.

The claim for the photo of the notoriously scrawny Taylor Swift in making a heterosexual man want to cum is a believable one. Unbelievable is my claim of cummance from the portrait of an unexpectedly handsome young dictator, so let me end the debate: Genocide does not inspire me to cum; I thought I already knew every hot, young dictator. Ceausescu, Gaddafi, Basher Al-Assad. Only delusional assholes will disagree with the glossy volume of Stalin’s locks and depth of his reflecting pools. I’m confident that The Great Purge eliminated Stalin’s wrinkles, yet even dictators can die of old age….What really makes me cum? Whenever my assumptions are eviscerated by a new truth.

The more I look at these photos, the less I want to cum. Thus commences the time in the love life of a photo when I must go crate digging for other sources of cum inspiration. No doubt I will post my findings here. Tonight’s exercise: After you get home from work (but before you relax) look for a picture of an inanimate object that inspires you to cum.

thereaper shotty ryan's shore look2 grams 2010 gaunt dad dad n bro dad bro creepy cok beach 3 diane


here are some photos i took while i was in la.

i’ve wanted to travel to la since i was 16.

someday i will work in the adult entertainment industry there.

mexicanseafood how poop changed LA subway enterprise boring zone LIFE dwntwn honor system sandy sleeping bag ukraine palm rug man dead palm 2 shirtless dead palm3 duikes lenny snake turtle  cuter hip hip2 hip3 passed out hi pretzels eat hay koala humps cutie closed sunday sleepy pinkie dwntwn la rodeo drive hi doggie ferris wheel nights neons goblins the tunnel lonely clown deuces no entry troll trashy brooklyn liquor godzilla blade runner more neon sprinks venice hostel view smell cast of lost massage cloud my pilla pacific gum2 gum1 hi mark sleep tight big dogs venice 2 forbidden stacey dopey shake me korea walker doggiess hostelcop

IMG_0152 IMG_0154 IMG_0158 IMG_0171 IMG_0176 IMG_0178 IMG_0181 IMG_0182 IMG_0183 IMG_0184 IMG_0186 IMG_0189 IMG_0199 IMG_0200 IMG_0201 IMG_0203 IMG_0204 IMG_0206 IMG_0208 IMG_0209

2013 retrospective

Favorite Books read in 2013:

Eat When You Feel Sad by Zachary German

Waste by Eugene Marten

The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky

The Castle by Franz Kafka

2666 by Roberto Bolano

Triptych by Claude Simon

Lady Chatterly’s Lover by D.H. Lawerence

Beloved by Toni Morrison

Moby-Dick by Herman Melville

The Tunnel by William H. Gass

Hurt Others by Sam Pink

Molloy by Samuel Beckett

Selected Unpublished Blog Posts of a Mexican Panda Express Employee by Megan Boyle

I Will Never Be Beautiful Enough to Make Us Beautiful Together by Mira Gonzalez

With the Animals by Noelle Revaz

A Visit From the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan

Windeye by Brian Evenson

A Jello Horse by Matthew Simmons

Little Birds Erotica by Anais Nin

Born Standing Up: A Comic’s Life by Steve Martin

The Possibility of an Island by Michel Houellebecq

The Orphan Master’s Son by Adam Johnson

Platform by Michel Houellebecq

Escape from Camp 14: One Man’s Remarkable Odyssey from North Korea to Freedom in the West by Blaine Harden

Sarah Kane Complete Plays

Hogg by Samuel Delany

Memoirs of my Nervous Illness by Daniel Paul Schreber

Gerald McClellan vs Nigel Benn by Sam Pink

Some Good YouTube Videos I Found in 2013: