a sinkhole is an unpredictable cavity that will inevitably collapse right beneath the earth’s surface. some people think about depression the way i think about sinkholes: all the time. sinkholes kick ass.
i have been embracing sinkholes since march, after i read an article about a Florida man whose entire bedroom was swallowed by a sinkhole as he slept. the Florida man’s brother insisted that the sound of the collapsing sinkhole was comparable to a truck crashing into their home. he awoke violently and frantically ran into the Florida man’s room and without hesitation leaped into the fifteen ft maelstrom of mud and furniture. the Florida man’s brother dug valiantly for the Florida man even as the pit continued to widen and deepen. upon arrival the fire dept was narrowly capable of rescuing the Florida man’s brother. the house was condemned despite the family’s pleas for it to remain as a memorial, and the body of the Florida man was never found.
there are many ways that sinkholes form, but in this case the covering sediments beneath the surface of the floor crumbled into an ancient, buried cavity that progressively enlarged until the cavity breached the floor and opened up.
thankfully, there will never be any televised pandering for “sinkhole relief” because of their arbitrary and meager causalities, so sinkholes will stay cool forever. choking on dirt still sucks though.
i will remain a sinkhole fan from a safe distance, as they aren’t a common occurrence where i live. they generally occur in central america and china and other far away places like san diego and wallace county.
Wallace County sinkhole
the girl in this video had a very cute ponytail that was covered by a big, stupid helmet when she was rescued. i understand its purpose, but i don’t approve of it.
for me, life is at its best when staring into the endless, empty abyss of a cover collapse sinkhole. one of my dreams is to jump into a cover collapse sinkhole (like the one pictured above); but i’d also like to be gnashed in the maw of a super croc. maybe i can combine these fantasies and jump into a cover collapse sinkhole that is also the open maw of a super croc.
a question for discussion: what is the outer space equivalent of a sinkhole?