this is the perfect place to get jumped

Month: July, 2013

Yesterday I ate three bags of chips for a total of 1200 calories and 2100 mg of sodium.

The day before yesterday there were two teenagers buying toilet paper and touching each other on the line at the grocery store. I heard the word Muncho mentioned amongst their Spanish, which put the snack back into my thought rotation.

I left my apt and stopped at the corner for Munchos so I wouldn’t be bored on my walk to the cafe. They didn’t carry Munchos. Munchos live at the grocery store, which is the opposite direction of the cafe, so I continued walking to the cafe and stopped at another bodega without Munchos. I didn’t want to go back from the direction I came, so I continued past the cafe to a bodega where I settled on pork rinds, but not the kind in crispy strips with attached skin,  the cheaper, puffier kind. I walked slowly so I could finish the bag before I reached the cafe because I didn’t want anyone I knew to see me eating.

I wrote at the cafe for as long as the espresso and pork rinds held me over and then I left to the grocery store for Munchos.

Two days before yesterday I was popping with an architect who spun myths of a rolled up Dorito he savored while studying at UCLA. Beside the Munchos on my grocery shelf were the Dinamita Doritos embodied. The Doritos were fifty cents more than the Munchos but three times as heavy, so I purchased them instead and thought about those teens making out next to a pyramid of toilet paper. The bag had four servings and I ate them all even though I tried not to.

When I finished the bag I decided to go on a walk, so I walked to Mellow Pages and read a book of poetry. My friend Matt announced to the room that he was buying beer and I said no thanks but he was nice and offered me a beer anyway, so I drank it slowly throughout the forty minute reading that followed. After the reading he smiled and handed me the last beer. I smiled and drank it and felt pretty drunk and sat staring at the ceiling before making conversation with the skinny girl sitting next to me. She stood up and left with an old French woman in a black dress after they exchanged numbers. I stopped at a bodega on my way home and sifted through the chip shelf until I found and bought a bag of Munchos tucked beneath a pile of Doritos.

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ive lost track of all the dumps ive taken

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